It was a dark and stormy November morning. Unsuspecting students, tired from a night full of cramming, went about their daily business. However, something was strange. Something was off… Unbeknownst to these students, whilst they were sitting idly in class, battling caffeine crashes and counting down the minutes to sweet, blissful freedom, the Bathroom Bandit was setting the stage for his very first sabotage. 

The Toilet Troublemaker first struck one of the stalls in the boys' locker room, rendering its toilet completely useless. “When I first saw it, I didn’t really think anything of it. Maybe someone had just used too much toilet paper,” Khaled Manaa (‘27) remarked. However, much to the dismay of students and faculty members alike, these incidents continued. What once started as a single “Out of Order” sign outside of a stall quickly spiraled into almost every single boys' bathroom being completely shut down.

The next bathroom the Lavatory Liquidator targeted was the boys' bathroom adjacent to the cafeteria. “It was really unfortunate that he clogged all the first floor bathrooms. It was inconvenient to have to go all the way upstairs every time I needed to use the bathroom,” Ameen Rahman (‘27) laments. However, this inconvenience soon turned into sheer outrage when the Plumbing Plunderer pounced on all three of the boys' bathrooms located on the second and third floors, effectively closing them. “I found myself spending more and more time out of class trying to find a working bathroom,” Ameen elaborates.

Allegedly, Captain Clog utilized numerous methods for his assaults on the bathrooms. From entire rolls of toilet paper to Chromebook chargers, his attacks were so vicious that he caused the bathroom in the language hallway to flood, leaving in his wake a pool of toilet water. It was as if a kiddie pool had somehow manifested itself, just without the inflatables and sunshine. 

The initial offenses on the bathrooms, during November, racked up plumbing costs of at least $1200. As the Sewer Saboteur continued ransacking the restrooms, the damages kept getting more and more severe, with costs reaching a peak of about $8000. Towards the end of this episode, potential punishments were introduced by the administration to hopefully end the costly bathroom bombardments. These punishments included removing toilet paper from boys' bathrooms and requiring boys to check out rolls from their teachers in class

It was rather disheartening to see a prestigious institution such as Maggie Walker become temporarily plagued by vandalism. With so many different ways to stand out at this school, we urge all readers to immerse themselves in activities that actively contribute to the betterment of their communities, rather than engaging in the polar opposite. “It is disappointing to see people wasting their academic opportunities at this school with such shenanigans,” Abhinav Mehta (‘27) reflects. 

Fortunately, after the extensive efforts of the security department (including subpoenaing every  teacher’s sign-out sheet), the individual responsible for this activity has been caught. Dr. Smith, in a school-wide email sent out on Friday, December 20th, revealed that they believe the identified culprit was the only person responsible, so it is unlikely that these incidents will continue.

While a little joke every here and there is perfectly acceptable, there is a clear-cut difference between harmless fun and actively disrupting your school’s environment. Certain things, such as a person's basic right and need to use the bathroom or a person’s education, are not laughing matters. Whilst we navigate this unique and diverse community, it is important that we keep a proper balance between humor and respect for others, to make this place—this home—more enjoyable for everyone.