All of you alternative people who act like all you listen to is that niche, artsy, underground, 90s/y2k, and avant-garde music are all posers and you need to come to terms with your real music taste. Do you actually think you’re quirky or something because you listen to Boygenius or Clairo? You’re just one of millions of monthly listeners, calm down. You’re not wildly unique because you don’t listen to “radio music.” You listened to one Björk song? Congrats! You watch Anthony Fantano and check Rate Your Music for the top rated albums of all time! You know the chorus of a Steve Lacy song other than “Bad Habit” or “Dark Red”? It seems like we have quite the R&B listener here… Just to save your time, because you don’t actually care to listen to a full album or attempt to find music for yourself, go back to Taylor Swift or Juice Wrld or Rap Caviar. You’re a bread sandwich and you need to accept it. Your taste is not niche and it’s not yours.

If you want to keep being a poser, it’s okay to like a musician’s most popular songs. You’re not different because you know a couple deep cuts, and you know you’re lying when you tell people “Last Call” is your favorite Kanye song. While you’re at it, stop saying artists’ unreleased songs are their best. They weren’t released for a reason.

My goal with this yapping is not to gatekeep music–that’s corny too. You don’t need to have listened to an artist since day one or be familiar with every single deep cut to be a fan. Sit down, listen to a full project, find the songs that stand out to you, reflect on it, and understand how the specific elements make you feel. Congratulations, you just formed your own opinion about music. You can like niche stuff and artists’ less popular songs can be your favorites, but it needs to come from a place of honesty.

If I hear someone say one more time, “I personally prefer this song/album/musician, but this other one is objectively better,” I’m going to lose my mind. Do some of you listen to what you say? At the end of the day, do you think back about what you did and think about who you even are? You just told whoever you’re talking to that you have no regard for your own opinions. There are a gazillion reasons that explain the music you listen to and it doesn’t matter what it is for you. Why do you listen to the music that you choose to listen to? “Because I enjoy it and it captures specific feelings for me that I relate to.” “Because it sounds nice in the background of whatever I’m doing.” I guarantee the songs you decide to come back to on an everyday basis are not based on some objective truth that those songs are better. It’s your opinion and you need to embrace it. It doesn’t matter if it’s weird and alternative, it doesn’t matter if it’s Taylor Swift, but whatever it is, lean into it and let your taste guide you into finding more.