“I don’t want people to know I’m in band,” I heard someone say with a laugh as we were warming up right before the band’s Fall Fest performance. The harmless statement caused me to ponder my own pride: am I embarrassed to be in band?

Naruto running, three-month-old jokes, and most notably, the T-pose are all components of the epitome of a band kid. The meme is known among many students today, and even if the stereotype doesn’t necessarily apply to band kids at their schools, people start to see all band kids as “weird.” They’re embarrassing, almost cringe-worthy, and worst of all, they play an instrument! It’s almost as if holding an instrument brings a wretched curse upon the beholder, a mark they live with for an eternity.

After more than four years of taking band, I’ve seen a lot. I’ve seen my bandmates being the centerpiece of side-eyes from peers, said goodbye to many players with immense potential, and experienced my own insecurities with my instrument. I hated how it looked as I lugged my meter-long trombone case everywhere, having to tell people that I’m in band, and especially those moments where people awkwardly step over my case on the bus. I dreaded the odd days when I had to take my instrument to and from school. I just wanted to avoid my trombone at all costs.

As my musical journey evolved, the skill improvement was obvious, but the reason I was playing was not clear for a long time. Band has always been a centerpiece in my life, as my sister played the tenor saxophone and my brother played the trumpet. For as long as I could remember, I sat in the ridiculously itchy seats of their school auditoriums, ripping and folding up music programs and almost falling asleep as the band performed in front of me. Needless to say, I wasn’t very appreciative of band myself. But there were moments when I couldn’t take my eyes off the stage. Even as a child, I could see the passion that flowed from the players. The way the light bounced off the instruments looked like glitter in a sea of waves, like something from an impressionist painting. I wondered if I too could make such beautiful art. It’s moments like these that remind me why I bring my annoyingly long instrument to school every other day.

Maybe some days I am embarrassed to be in band. I just want to leave my trombone at home and forget I ever signed up for this class. But if I can open someone’s eyes in the audience, just like those students did for me all those years ago, then I think it’s worth it. The band kid stereotype will never go away, people might always get mad at me for having to step over my case, but band kids can learn to embrace it. After all, what’s a little harmless T-posing going to do to anyone?